Adoption Information/Education

I am pleasantly surprised by how sensitive, educated and aware you are about the positive terms of adoption language and even more surprised of the understanding of how hurtful the negative terms can be (see right for examples).
There is a lot of curiosity out there and you seem a little apprehensive about asking...please don't be, here's my spiel...maybe it will answer some questions.

When DH and I are blessed with our child there will be not doubt that the child is ours and no doubt we will be the child's parents and no doubt our siblings with be the child's aunts and uncles and no doubt our parents will be the child's grandparents and cousins are cousins. There are many ways to build a family, the end result being we will be a family built and bonded as the strongest family out there.

Our family will be a little more extended than the average - we will have special friends/family that consist of the birth family. Our hope is to have a positive relationship with the birth family in the capacity that works for all of us. Our relationship with the birth family will not lessen our role as parents. We will be and do everything a child counts on from their parents, loving, feeding, teaching, disciplining, anything and everything a child needs to be successful in life. The child's relationship with the birth family will depend on the dynamics that develop. Many of the story's we've heard illustrate the birth family in a positive light of being simply a special family friend. The birth family with not have a role in the parenting of our child. Open adoption is not co-parenting.

Prior to placement the birth mother will be educated on all her options including parenting and what services are out there to assist her. She will be provided counseling to assist her in making her decision and understanding her emotions. The principle is, when she makes the decision to make and adoption plan for her child it will be willingly and with all the knowledge and peace needed. In a perfect world the birth mother will work with CSSM prior to birth and we will have met her and started to build a friendship. Sometime it's not until birth or even after. Either way CSSM will make sure the birth mother, father and family knows everything there is to know.

Once baby is born the birth mother cannot relinquish her rights until 72 hour after birth. It is likely we will have met our baby and spent time with our child during that period. Birth mother must have a clear head and be free of any medication/drugs (typically associated with child birth) before signing the papers. After papers are signed...that's it!

After placement there will be 6 months when our child will technically be a foster child but no less our child with no chance of the birth family taking our baby. CSSM will check on us a couple of times to make sure our child is bonding and thriving. After the 6 months a few papers will be filed with the court and we will get a new birth certificate with Baby Crotzers name on it. Our child's birth certificate will be no different and hold no different meaning or laws than if we had birthed the child and the certificate was issued on day one.

Then we live happily ever after. Sorry so long - any questions?