Our great state...

officially determined yesterday by way of court that Isaac's birth parents do not deserve the right to be parents - their parental rights have been terminated. While we're thrilled and relieved...thrilled and relieved beyond what we can express we are also saddened that those who brought this little angel into our lives let him go so carelessly. Rationally I know it was their choice by way of actions but I'm still sad for them.

Our little "I" is sort of an orphan until we finalize and he officially becomes a C! Poor little guy!

Kind of a big day for us in this journey, can't wait for the next big day!

Little I's Room

Despite the incredibly small window of time we had to get Isaacs room ready I'm thoroughly enjoying this mishmash of it all.

DH thankfully got the crib together the week before we left for Omaha and I surprisingly got a few peices painted the weekend before...the rest was thrown together the morning of I's arrival. 

I've been working on the Alphabet the past few days...completed today

Thank you Amy Butler - this was an ugly pleather ottomen

Now a delight to rest feet upon

Fun "headboard"

Isaac Update:
Officail MD readings - we had our first appointment together
11.6 lbs
23 Inches long
15 3/4" head circumpherence
Per Dr. he's looking healthy and doing exactly what he should be.
We're getting a lot more smiles and coos out of him, I think he's figured us out "I make a noise I get a snuggle, a dry diaper, a bottle, a walk - it's the life"
A few firsts together:
Farmers Market
Park
Bluff Walk
Starbucks
Grocery store
Drug store
Baby sitter (grandma while I took Noah to dance class)

Noah is adjusting more and more each day. We have had a few challenges and rightfully so but as previously stated he's surprising us with how he's filling his BIG brother shoes.

A few household observations:
OMG!!! The diaper pale fills fast!!!
Where have all the papertowels gone? I think that has more to do with Noah being 2.5 than anything.
Laundry...is it ever done?
Getting out the doors takes at least 20 minutes.

Pictures of I to be emailed.

Thank goodness for BIG cousins

Just a few shots from Sunday dinner...the little boys trying to figure out how to get the remote control helicopter to go.

 The frustration on their faces

 Big Walker to the rescue only to discover...the batteries are dead

Isaac update: He's doing great! The past two night his longest stretch of sleep has been 6 hours (not complaining just documenting). He's eating great and letting us know when he needs something, we can't ask for a whole lot more at this point. He's a very happy, snuggly little guy.
Noah has been amazing so much so that sometimes I have to stop and push my jaw shut. He's going to be a great big brother! Not to mention he can count to 10!! Where did our baby go?

We're growing!!

I'm sure by now most of you know of the changes occurring in our family. For those that don't, I'm sorry for not personally (or remotely through family and friends) letting you know.

We have welcomed baby Isaac into our family! What a great Mother's day gift right??? We've been on cloud 9.

A little disclaimer - this process has been much different than that with Noah so we have a few more rules to follow (for the time being). As of now I can't post pictures of Isaac on public sights, I'm trying to figure out how to password protect my blog or just the Isaac posts so until the time I figure it out... if you want to see the sweet pea email me or comment that you want picture(s) - if you don't think I have your email address please provide that as well.

First a picture of BIG brother helping make a happy cake to welcome Isaac home. It's amazing how the baby disappeared from Noah faster than Daddy does when he has a dirty diaper. Noah has morphed into a big boy over night (still not using the big boy potty though). Noah loves helping and giving hugs and kisses and even sometime scarring Isaac wide eyed with his volume and excitement.

Now to Isaac - (I'm not sure what I can and can't post so I'm going to keep this fairly vague)
Issac is 10 weeks old today
Issac weighs 12 pounds (based on my measure yesterday)
Issac is amazingly sleeping 7+ hours a night (lucky us)
Issac is eating like a champ - 4 oz every 3 hours...you could set your clock to it!

How he came to be:
We first learned of Isaac about 40 days ago, just a little teaser about him. Then about a week after that we learned a little more and a week after that a little more and week after that we got to meet him! Isaac has been living in the most amazing home - calm, loving, warm, charming, tranquil, the best place for a baby to start his life. We have visited Isaac a few time before the "transition" home started last Wednesday. Noah got to meet and visit with him a couple times too.
This past Wednesday that transition started - I spent a few days visiting him in his home allowing him time to get used to me and to understand that I'm there for him and will give him everything he needs. He was delivered to us by his Foster Mom & Dad on Saturday. They visited a few time in Isaac's new home to assure him he is loved and not abandoned.

There you have it! We are a family of 4 + 2 fur babies and loving it!  

Update...

Many have asked so here's a little update on all of us and our processes -

Noah: Adorable, charming, so smart and so stubborn!
Mike: Running (training for an Ultra), phenomenal pharmacist, adorable, charming and so smart
Jennifer: Looking forward to painting and decorating - I just need more time!

House: Upstairs could be finished if we just had the time. I took a few hours and primed the smallest wall and have nailed down out colors (I hope). The next few weeks I will focus on getting it done, I hope to be moved up there by 4/15....

We've been getting dumped on for what seems like weeks so any hopes of working on our yard, deck or anything else has been put on hold.

Adoption #2: We have been licensed for Foster for a couple months now, we have been called a few times but nothing has worked out. We're not looking to "foster" in the traditional sense but have to be licensed to take an adoptive placement. We have an approved home study through State Adoptions and are in the mix of waiting families...wait and wait and wait. I get to make a photo album like we did for CSSM so I'm pretty excited about that. So really we're just waiting.

That's about it.

Here we go again...

DH and I said we would "start" process #2 at the beginning of 2011. Well, that we did. By start I mean research, read, call/talk, learn, etc.

I was getting frustrated because I wasn't finding the answer I wanted, I was finding the answers I was looking for I just thought they would be different. There are some areas in the great state of California that offer amazing resources such as we had with CSSM. Unfortunately our rural area is not one of those areas, one of those areas is not even close enough to service this area. Private adoption, that's what they call the process we went through for Noah although that's not what we ever referred to it as, is possible in our area but it's far from the process we know.


If we were to do "private adoption" in our area it would consist of working with an attorney and advertising ourselves as prospective adoptive parents. We would have to go through the same steps, home study, medical, criminal check etc. but we would be working with several organizations to get all our ducks in a row. Services of support are not provided/available to the birth families, children or adoptive parents. The wait could be months, years, who really knows. The process is not facilitated by an agency or organization. The process seem informal and risky. We will call this option 1.


Option #2 being fost-adopt. This process consists of becoming foster parents in the traditional or most widely know sense. We would become licensed in CA through an organization, there are a few in the area. When CPS (Child Protective Service) determines birth parents aren't fit to parent, the children are removed from the home, the foster organization is contacted and they determine placement. In most situations reunification is the primary goal of the foster care system. Birth parents have to work with the courts and caseworkers to prove they are suitable parents and earn the right to be parents. In some cases children are removed at birth and parental rights are terminated immediately. Again, service and support and not offered (from what we can tell) to the birth families. This process could be immediate to months or years.


Since our only experience is what we had with Noah we thought (prior to January 2011), we would start the process, take half a year to do the paperwork, spend another 6 months or so waiting, a few months of being matched and then baby. In our minds Noah would be 2+


It seems the process could potentially be quicker than we had anticipated. We are proceeding cautiously with option #2. We are working with RCS (Redwood Children's Services).


The day after our application (more of an informational questionnaire) was received we were invited to an orientation/workshop which was held this past Saturday. We went. It was one of those formality things that must be done to move on in the process, it was informal and quick. While at this meeting we learned RCS has recently had to turn down placements in our area because they do not have families for the children which completely breaks our hearts. We were asked if we could have all our paperwork competed and returned within 2 weeks so we could go before the screening committee to quickly determine if we would be allowed to proceed.


We will get our paperwork done but will still be proceeding with caution. Should we be allowed to proceed we will only do so as we feel ready and comfortable with/for Noah. If you are like me, your only FC experience may be that of what you've seen on TV or heard about - a troubled youth in "the system", often scary stuff. That's not what we're going for and that's not always the case. We can and will state we only want placement of an infant that will be in our home forever. A positive affect on Noah is the only option.


I've spoken with several organization and was surprised to find out how many parents lose their rights to be parents right out of the delivery room. DH and I are troubled by this process, we find it difficult to be comfortable with someone else losing their right without a choice. We also understand there are many parents out there that shouldn't be parents or even have the right to be. My understanding from those that I spoke with, many of the infants that are born whose birth parents lose rights at birth are parents that lost parental rights of prior children. Basically they're not given another chance.


We are struggling with the idea too that LO (little one) #2 and us may not have a relationship with their birth family. I don't know about them, but we feel we have a great relationship with Noah's BF and are so thankful that they will be part of Noah's life. Our new journey very well could turn out idyllic, it is just so different than our one and only experience - if this was our first with nothing to compare to we might be thinking its perfect. Going through this process will open us up/get our duck in a row for "private adoption" - you just never know when someone may know someone who's looking for adoptive parents.


I'm realizing the more I write the more down I'm sounding and the more negative the process is sounding. I don't want to come across that way, that's not at all how it is or how we feel. This is what I've learned in the research part of the process. We are just so surprised how different it is and are a little saddened that there aren't more resources like CSSM. We are thrilled...we're talking about how we're going to arrange the house and names and what I get to buy new :)! Yahoo!


OMG! That was a long post. Sorry. Questions? I'm sure we'll be learning more as we proceed and this information may change.

More Birthday weekend pics

We had a great time with Noah's Tummy Mummy and Granna - we got to do all the touristy things locals often forget about!

Point Cabrillo Light House

It was an odd weather day which only added to the coastal ambiance.

The history was amazing - there only 3 of this type lens still in use. Who knew?

Noah, BM & BG'ma took their first train rides - EVER!
Luckily we were on the Old 48...the local brewery makes a beer of the same name.
Sadly we didn't get to drink any.

The train ride was a bit steamy, rainy outside and warm inside. All in all a fun time!

Team C.!

If you can't tell from the picture, we had our day in court! Judge Dusty Deschamps presided. DH was a rock, Noah a charmer and me...well a babbling baby.

For those that aren't getting my drift, our adoption of Noah is final. From day 1 Noah has been nothing less than our son and the love or our lives, now all official documents will show Noah as part of team C!

Welcome to the team baby boy!

Our petition has...

been filed for finalization!!! We're just waiting for the call with our court date.

Busy few days

We were lucky enough to get a visit from Noah's Birth Mother and Birth Grandparents this weekend. It was a lovely visit. We feel so lucky to have been matched with this family, we can't imagine going through this process with anyone else.

Noah and his Tummy Mummy

Sadly this is our first family picture. It was relatively early in the morning (considering my nights) and I don't think I was fulling awake. Hopefully there will be more to come that are much much better. For now I will take what I can get.

Today we had our first post-placement visit with Betsy the social worker in town. She was here about an hour and a half, we had lunch and visited. She asked all sorts of questions about parenting and bonding and how things have changed or not. We don't have any issues with the aforementioned so all is as it should be. We'll have our final visit in the spring.

No longer a Newborn

DH and I both had one of those moments yesterday...We're parents and couldn't be happier, prouder, more shocked, more ready, all around just amazingly fulfilled. We always said we were so happy just as we were and if for some reason we never had children, yes we would be sad but we would still be happy. A child was not to fill a void but someone we could share our happiness with and teach and show the world to.

Noah has shown and taught us a love we could never have imagined. He's truly a blessing. We feel so lucky to be able to give him our love and the world.

Last night as DH was rocking him and I was cleaning out his dresser...he was born bigger than the "newborn" size but was still able to wear most of it, we discovered as DH tried to put a NB sleeper on him...they no longer fit. Anyway, at this moment we realized we both had the same ahha moment yesterday. It was pretty great.

Stats Update
By my very precise and scientific measurements...Noah weighs 10lbs and is 21 inches.

I know grandma you want sweet perfect pictures but I tend to favor the goofy ones...

Our final leg - Arriving home

After leaving Billings/Laurel with Noah we weren't sure how far we would get or how well he would travel. Naturally, Noah's perfect in the car and we were able to make it all the way back home. It was a long day but were glad not to have to spend another night in a hotel.

We thought it was a little odd our porch light was on when we pulled into the neighborhood...things turned from odd to delightful. My dear girlfriends, decorated for Noah's arrival, warmed up the house and even had a meal in the refrigerator for us. Our home coming was better than we could have expected!! Thank you Hill, Jen & Julie!!!

That is it...the rest as they say, is history. Well, actually present.

A Family

The day of Noah's release we were instructed to check-out of our hotel and arrive at the hospital with our car seat. Naturally, we were still not sure what to feel.

New daddy un-sure about the car seat functions

Hospital check-out was actually much quicker than I anticipated. Because of our discussions Friday we were all able to somewhat enjoy our last moments in the hospital together. We even learned I work with one of Noah's Birth 3rd cousins. The nurses went over some care for BM and for Noah. Noah was checked out of the nursery and we were all escorted out of the hospital together by a nurse.

The departure parade

DH and I were able to steal a few moments to spend with Noah, feed and change him.

We headed to the BM's house to spend some time together, share lunch and even meet some very, very GREAT family members.

Noah's Great Great Birth Uncle Dean who is 77

Noah's Great Great Birth Grandmother Mary who is 90

Departing photos - With BM

Noah's with Birth Mother

Noah's birth family has the best dogs!!! They have four total. Two St. Bernard's!

This is Blaire - she's only 10 months! Her sister is Finley (don't have a picture)

With social worker Linda

Blaire watching through the window

Late afternoon we headed home.

Days after birth

Thursday and Friday after Noah's birth were probably the hardest of my life this far, I wish I would have written about them sooner since the more time that passes the less real they seem. I'm not able to write about what or how the birth family was feeling - I can't even imagine. I'm sure their pain and fear was like no other.

I've been trying to think of something more people can relate it to, to understand the feeling. I guess it was like waiting for the results back on a test that determines whether or not you have a terminal disease or someone you love more than anything is waiting for the results to the same test. Everything is a blur, your head hurts, your chest hurts, your throat is tight, you don't feel like eating or doing anything period. You just the wait to be over. You know there is nothing you can do about the end result it's just the answer you want.

We got to spend time with the birth family and Noah which was amazing, real and raw like nothing else. Aside from those times we honestly didn't even want to be awake but couldn't sleep.

Emotions were high and on Friday the pain and fears of this process came to a head, out in the open and discussed by all of us including the SW. It was so hard to hear our fears verbalized but it needed to be done. A plan was made for hospital release on Saturday.

I regret it now but we didn't take any pictures on Thursday and Friday. I don't think it was a conscience choice I just think we didn't want pictures of those days because it was so hard and in fear that it would forever be remembered on film.

The day of Noah

The plan was for BM to be induced, we were going to get a call when things started moving. During an early morning examination it was determined Noah had turned sideways (again) and his placenta was below him. We got a call around 7:30 AM from BM letting us know she would be having the c-section around 9 and wanted to see us before going in.

We rushed to get there as quickly as possible, thank goodness we did! They got thing going early. We didn't have much time to visit but long enough for well wishes, hugs and even a few tears. SW was there every minute of the way.

DH, SW and I were anxiously waiting. Sitting in silence more than anything. Thank goodness for SW - She thought we should go check the nursery window. When we did....

Shortly after 9:03 AM

Birth Grandmother giving us weight 8lbs. 6.5 oz

Footprints

Getting a little oxygen

I want to say we were in front of the nursery window a good 45 minutes just watching and praying, unable to take our eyes off him.

We were able to immediately visit as soon as BM and Noah made it to their room.

BM giving Noah his first feeding

Proud Papa's first hold

Proud Mama's first hold

We were all so happy and blessed Noah was as healthy as could be. I'm not going to lie and say we weren't filled with even more fear. There we were loving this little guy not knowing if we will be able to love him as mom & dad forever.

All part of the journey:

For those who don't know, DH's favorite beer is Anchor Steam out of San Francisco. About two years ago the distributors in Missoula were no longer able to get it. Trust me, I asked every place in town that sells beer!

While giving BM and family time DH and I just drove around, doing our best to kill time. We didn't really want to do anything but we didn't want to do nothing either. Since Billings is a bigger village they definitely have more shopping opportunities. I suggested we stop at World Market to see what their beer selection looked like. Let's just say after we left they couldn't sell Anchor Steam either.

Still feeling like we wanted to do nothing...dinner consisted of scrambled eggs in a hotel room. It is very strange scrambling eggs in a hotel room!

Our trip to Noah

I think it will be easier to post about our journey to Noah in sections...Leg One

Tuesday October 20, 2009, headed east to Billings, MT. It will be difficult to describe how either of us were feeling on our travel day or any other day of this journey. It was almost like we were feeling so much we couldn't feel anything. Fortunately grey weather calms the nerves.

In our typical "road trip" fashion we were right on schedule leaving the house. Our first stop was to drop off our fur-babies just outside of town. Then off to Billings.

Classic road trip snacks...CHEESE

Hummus and Lays Stax

Favorite landmark - Our Lady of the Rockies

We arrived in Billings just around 5PM - right on schedule. We stayed at an Extended StayAmerica in hopes we would cook more meals than eat out.

Our room was utilitarian - no frills. Shortly after unloading our vehicle the fire alarms started sounding, we headed to the front desk to get details. As it turned out they were just testing the system. After sitting in our room and listening to all the fire alarms going off for at least 20 minutes we decided we needed out!! Next stop Wal-Mart! We purchased what we needed for our room and enough breakfast food for several days.

On our way out we got a call from BM - the plan was to have dinner before she was checked into the hospital. We met at Red Robin and had a very delightful dinner with BM and her parents. Thanks for dinner Birth Family!

After dinner we headed to the hospital to visit and get BM checked in. We had a lovely visit with the birth family and our SW. We got to meet BM's sister - she's a hoot!

We parted ways, all anticipating the morning to come. DH and I love the birth family and sincerely enjoyed getting to know them better before the arrival of Noah. We left feeling happy yet terrified and nervous.