A little broken hearted

I think this is the first time in our adoption journey that I have just broken down and cried.

It will be 5 weeks Friday since our last meeting with our SW. She said she would have our Profiles done within a few weeks. We've been in contact on a fairly regular basis (weekly). Today I emailed her to let her know we have our Life Insurance policies in place; she responded 'Thank you"; I then emailed her back requesting status...her response:

"you can, but you won't like it! "

Bottom line is she has a more pressing issue. I agree that it is more pressing and I would hate to be the family that is in the situation she is dealing with. My heart goes out to them but it also breaks for us because we are just left with our anxiety, stress and fear on the back burner. I just wonder what she has been doing for the past almost 5 weeks and really why can't she spend a few hours and get our Profile done?

This is not a situation where we can call a supervisor and ask for someone else. It seems the situation she's dealing with must be dealt with by her and our Profile really can't be written by anyone else since she's the one who met with us - our Profile is her summary of our meetings combined with all the paperwork we were so diligent in doing.

I know it's a little selfish of me to be so upset but the anticipation of becoming 'live/active' has been building for over 6 months. I don't how else to deal with my emotions other than writing about them her and just crying.

Lucky finds at the U of M

Went to the U of M "Worlds Largest Yard Sale" Saturday - totally not (the worlds largest or best) but found a couple of steals!

Found my rocker/glider for $5 - and no I'm not missing a zero - just $5. It was worn and tired but well worth $5 plus the cost of the material to make the slip cover.

I don't think the picture does it justice. It's casual and totally schlumpy - just my style. Reminds me of the covers from IKEA or PB (although my craftsmanship is not near that quality). Plus it's completely washable! I wanted a creamy colored cord, I guess it's not the season for that so I went with white denim - who ever thought I would ever buy that much white denim!?!?!

BEFORE!!!Can we say heinous??

In case you missed it above; I said a *couple of steal(S)*....

I found this REI pack for $20!! No joke...not his exact pack ours is orange and grey.

Just missing the baby!!

Scholarship

DH was awarded a $1500 MedCo scholarship!!

VOTE: Which Mike do we love best?

We had a little fun last night...

Clean Cut Mike?

Soul Patch Mike?

Creepy Mustache Mike?

Handlebar Mike?

Goat Mike?

Answer: We love them all!!!

Adoption Information/Education

I am pleasantly surprised by how sensitive, educated and aware you are about the positive terms of adoption language and even more surprised of the understanding of how hurtful the negative terms can be (see right for examples).
There is a lot of curiosity out there and you seem a little apprehensive about asking...please don't be, here's my spiel...maybe it will answer some questions.

When DH and I are blessed with our child there will be not doubt that the child is ours and no doubt we will be the child's parents and no doubt our siblings with be the child's aunts and uncles and no doubt our parents will be the child's grandparents and cousins are cousins. There are many ways to build a family, the end result being we will be a family built and bonded as the strongest family out there.

Our family will be a little more extended than the average - we will have special friends/family that consist of the birth family. Our hope is to have a positive relationship with the birth family in the capacity that works for all of us. Our relationship with the birth family will not lessen our role as parents. We will be and do everything a child counts on from their parents, loving, feeding, teaching, disciplining, anything and everything a child needs to be successful in life. The child's relationship with the birth family will depend on the dynamics that develop. Many of the story's we've heard illustrate the birth family in a positive light of being simply a special family friend. The birth family with not have a role in the parenting of our child. Open adoption is not co-parenting.

Prior to placement the birth mother will be educated on all her options including parenting and what services are out there to assist her. She will be provided counseling to assist her in making her decision and understanding her emotions. The principle is, when she makes the decision to make and adoption plan for her child it will be willingly and with all the knowledge and peace needed. In a perfect world the birth mother will work with CSSM prior to birth and we will have met her and started to build a friendship. Sometime it's not until birth or even after. Either way CSSM will make sure the birth mother, father and family knows everything there is to know.

Once baby is born the birth mother cannot relinquish her rights until 72 hour after birth. It is likely we will have met our baby and spent time with our child during that period. Birth mother must have a clear head and be free of any medication/drugs (typically associated with child birth) before signing the papers. After papers are signed...that's it!

After placement there will be 6 months when our child will technically be a foster child but no less our child with no chance of the birth family taking our baby. CSSM will check on us a couple of times to make sure our child is bonding and thriving. After the 6 months a few papers will be filed with the court and we will get a new birth certificate with Baby Crotzers name on it. Our child's birth certificate will be no different and hold no different meaning or laws than if we had birthed the child and the certificate was issued on day one.

Then we live happily ever after. Sorry so long - any questions?

Friday...

It's been a slow week...TGIF! DH was informed yesterday that he will be awarded a scholarship for his last year of school. The ceremony will be next Friday. Don't know for how much or from whom or for what but proud nonetheless.
The last one he got was from Safeway (probably because my mother has worked there for 25+ years - just kidding) for $2,000.
Will just be enjoying the dawn of spring this weekend. Wishing everyone a pleasant day.

Minor Setback

Got word from our SW yesterday...she hasn't even started our profile! We're still on schedule I was just hoping in my heart she would be done sooner that anticipated - ya know 'under promise and over deliver'? I guess I don't live in a fantasy world and reality reigns true.

All else is cool. Including the weather.

Happy Easter!!

Jr's got wheels

Thanks to Mr. & Mrs. Crotzer!!

The box arrived yesterday evening. I was just going to inspect for damage and all parts and keep it in the box...I couldn't resist, it's assembled and sitting in our living room right now.

Need a new project...

I'm now on the search for a glider/rocker. I'm hoping I will be lucky enough to find a used one that I can make better.

The high chair is done!!!

Fabric of one of the covers...I've made three different covers

Intentionally distressed/old looking but fresh paint!

After...

So excited!!

Part of our process is making albums to be part of our profile that Birth Mothers view to select a family(ideally us!). I used the site Scrapblog.com to make ours. I've been working on it for months and even had a couple sent to me during the process so I could touch and see what the finished product would look like.
I ordered and had our final versions shipped to CSSM a week ago this past Friday. Anyway, I logged into my account last week to check the status of my orders to find out they have been cancelled...I had a minor melt down. Naturally there is no phone number on their site for customer service...grr. I ended up contacting them via their online email contact....
To my surprise I was contacted quite quickly and was assured that my order was not cancelled but shipped USPS to the P.O. Box I gave for CSSM. No tracking information was provided. Naturally I was a little leery since these little albums are a very important part of our profile.

I called CSSM today to see if they arrived. The person on the other end of the line said yes they arrived, so she thought, and they were just beautiful! I explained what happened with my order and that I would really love if she would double check...she got back on the line and told me yes she was correct, our albums were there and they were just beautiful and in fact they are the best they have seen in a longggggg time!!! I'm so excited!! I imagine they are the experts on albums for Birth Mothers!! I'm so glad I can do something right!!!

New Project

Last weekend Rita and I shopped our downtown 2nd hand/thrift and antique shops. Aside for the drizzly weather we had a fun and successful time. I found an amazing (amazing to me at least) high chair. The tag called it vintage circa 1930's...what I loved about it was it's solid wood and didn't cost $300!!!

I will start working on it this weekend...sand, reinforce, paint, seal, safety restraints, cushions and covers...I think it will be amazing when done!

BEFORE.....

Stayed tuned for progress reports or if all goes well finished product pictures next week.