Jenn's Journey

Saturday, October 31, 2009

A Family

The day of Noah's release we were instructed to check-out of our hotel and arrive at the hospital with our car seat. Naturally, we were still not sure what to feel.

New daddy un-sure about the car seat functions

Hospital check-out was actually much quicker than I anticipated. Because of our discussions Friday we were all able to somewhat enjoy our last moments in the hospital together. We even learned I work with one of Noah's Birth 3rd cousins. The nurses went over some care for BM and for Noah. Noah was checked out of the nursery and we were all escorted out of the hospital together by a nurse.

The departure parade

DH and I were able to steal a few moments to spend with Noah, feed and change him.

We headed to the BM's house to spend some time together, share lunch and even meet some very, very GREAT family members.

Noah's Great Great Birth Uncle Dean who is 77

Noah's Great Great Birth Grandmother Mary who is 90

Departing photos - With BM

Noah's with Birth Mother

Noah's birth family has the best dogs!!! They have four total. Two St. Bernard's!

This is Blaire - she's only 10 months! Her sister is Finley (don't have a picture)

With social worker Linda

Blaire watching through the window

Late afternoon we headed home.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Days after birth

Thursday and Friday after Noah's birth were probably the hardest of my life this far, I wish I would have written about them sooner since the more time that passes the less real they seem. I'm not able to write about what or how the birth family was feeling - I can't even imagine. I'm sure their pain and fear was like no other.

I've been trying to think of something more people can relate it to, to understand the feeling. I guess it was like waiting for the results back on a test that determines whether or not you have a terminal disease or someone you love more than anything is waiting for the results to the same test. Everything is a blur, your head hurts, your chest hurts, your throat is tight, you don't feel like eating or doing anything period. You just the wait to be over. You know there is nothing you can do about the end result it's just the answer you want.

We got to spend time with the birth family and Noah which was amazing, real and raw like nothing else. Aside from those times we honestly didn't even want to be awake but couldn't sleep.

Emotions were high and on Friday the pain and fears of this process came to a head, out in the open and discussed by all of us including the SW. It was so hard to hear our fears verbalized but it needed to be done. A plan was made for hospital release on Saturday.

I regret it now but we didn't take any pictures on Thursday and Friday. I don't think it was a conscience choice I just think we didn't want pictures of those days because it was so hard and in fear that it would forever be remembered on film.

Cloud 9

I don't know what else to say. We are in absolute heaven, in love with Noah. I'm even finding 3 AM loaded diapers a joy. I'm sure at some point the loads will lose their luster but for now we are enjoying every minute.

There's a black hole, time-warp portal somewhere in my house...I think it keeps moving and I can't find it. We wake and before we know it's 4 in the afternoon! I'm certain I can't just be staring and loving Noah all day!

Grandma flew in from California on Wednesday. We are enjoying each other - we've shared Noah's first trip to Starbucks, Macy's and the mall. He's going to be a great shopper!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

1st Dr. Appointment

We had our first pediatrician appointment today. Noah is PERFECT!! He's gaining weight as he should be and all else checks out healthy. He was 8lbs 1oz today.

Before the doc we had to make sure the little guy was nice and clean...first sponge bath from mom.

Thank heavens for snuggly towels

Monday, October 26, 2009

For the hunters in the family

Grandpa, Uncle, cousins....he's ready!!

Not a huge fan of camo but newborn camo on a guy this cute is IRRESISTIBLE!!

The day of Noah

The plan was for BM to be induced, we were going to get a call when things started moving. During an early morning examination it was determined Noah had turned sideways (again) and his placenta was below him. We got a call around 7:30 AM from BM letting us know she would be having the c-section around 9 and wanted to see us before going in.

We rushed to get there as quickly as possible, thank goodness we did! They got thing going early. We didn't have much time to visit but long enough for well wishes, hugs and even a few tears. SW was there every minute of the way.

DH, SW and I were anxiously waiting. Sitting in silence more than anything. Thank goodness for SW - She thought we should go check the nursery window. When we did....

Shortly after 9:03 AM

Birth Grandmother giving us weight 8lbs. 6.5 oz

Footprints

Getting a little oxygen

I want to say we were in front of the nursery window a good 45 minutes just watching and praying, unable to take our eyes off him.

We were able to immediately visit as soon as BM and Noah made it to their room.

BM giving Noah his first feeding

Proud Papa's first hold

Proud Mama's first hold

We were all so happy and blessed Noah was as healthy as could be. I'm not going to lie and say we weren't filled with even more fear. There we were loving this little guy not knowing if we will be able to love him as mom & dad forever.

All part of the journey:

For those who don't know, DH's favorite beer is Anchor Steam out of San Francisco. About two years ago the distributors in Missoula were no longer able to get it. Trust me, I asked every place in town that sells beer!

While giving BM and family time DH and I just drove around, doing our best to kill time. We didn't really want to do anything but we didn't want to do nothing either. Since Billings is a bigger village they definitely have more shopping opportunities. I suggested we stop at World Market to see what their beer selection looked like. Let's just say after we left they couldn't sell Anchor Steam either.