Happy Halloween!!

Noah's first Halloween!

A Family

The day of Noah's release we were instructed to check-out of our hotel and arrive at the hospital with our car seat. Naturally, we were still not sure what to feel.

New daddy un-sure about the car seat functions

Hospital check-out was actually much quicker than I anticipated. Because of our discussions Friday we were all able to somewhat enjoy our last moments in the hospital together. We even learned I work with one of Noah's Birth 3rd cousins. The nurses went over some care for BM and for Noah. Noah was checked out of the nursery and we were all escorted out of the hospital together by a nurse.

The departure parade

DH and I were able to steal a few moments to spend with Noah, feed and change him.

We headed to the BM's house to spend some time together, share lunch and even meet some very, very GREAT family members.

Noah's Great Great Birth Uncle Dean who is 77

Noah's Great Great Birth Grandmother Mary who is 90

Departing photos - With BM

Noah's with Birth Mother

Noah's birth family has the best dogs!!! They have four total. Two St. Bernard's!

This is Blaire - she's only 10 months! Her sister is Finley (don't have a picture)

With social worker Linda

Blaire watching through the window

Late afternoon we headed home.

Days after birth

Thursday and Friday after Noah's birth were probably the hardest of my life this far, I wish I would have written about them sooner since the more time that passes the less real they seem. I'm not able to write about what or how the birth family was feeling - I can't even imagine. I'm sure their pain and fear was like no other.

I've been trying to think of something more people can relate it to, to understand the feeling. I guess it was like waiting for the results back on a test that determines whether or not you have a terminal disease or someone you love more than anything is waiting for the results to the same test. Everything is a blur, your head hurts, your chest hurts, your throat is tight, you don't feel like eating or doing anything period. You just the wait to be over. You know there is nothing you can do about the end result it's just the answer you want.

We got to spend time with the birth family and Noah which was amazing, real and raw like nothing else. Aside from those times we honestly didn't even want to be awake but couldn't sleep.

Emotions were high and on Friday the pain and fears of this process came to a head, out in the open and discussed by all of us including the SW. It was so hard to hear our fears verbalized but it needed to be done. A plan was made for hospital release on Saturday.

I regret it now but we didn't take any pictures on Thursday and Friday. I don't think it was a conscience choice I just think we didn't want pictures of those days because it was so hard and in fear that it would forever be remembered on film.

Cloud 9

I don't know what else to say. We are in absolute heaven, in love with Noah. I'm even finding 3 AM loaded diapers a joy. I'm sure at some point the loads will lose their luster but for now we are enjoying every minute.

There's a black hole, time-warp portal somewhere in my house...I think it keeps moving and I can't find it. We wake and before we know it's 4 in the afternoon! I'm certain I can't just be staring and loving Noah all day!

Grandma flew in from California on Wednesday. We are enjoying each other - we've shared Noah's first trip to Starbucks, Macy's and the mall. He's going to be a great shopper!

1st Dr. Appointment

We had our first pediatrician appointment today. Noah is PERFECT!! He's gaining weight as he should be and all else checks out healthy. He was 8lbs 1oz today.

Before the doc we had to make sure the little guy was nice and clean...first sponge bath from mom.

Thank heavens for snuggly towels

For the hunters in the family

Grandpa, Uncle, cousins....he's ready!!

Not a huge fan of camo but newborn camo on a guy this cute is IRRESISTIBLE!!

The day of Noah

The plan was for BM to be induced, we were going to get a call when things started moving. During an early morning examination it was determined Noah had turned sideways (again) and his placenta was below him. We got a call around 7:30 AM from BM letting us know she would be having the c-section around 9 and wanted to see us before going in.

We rushed to get there as quickly as possible, thank goodness we did! They got thing going early. We didn't have much time to visit but long enough for well wishes, hugs and even a few tears. SW was there every minute of the way.

DH, SW and I were anxiously waiting. Sitting in silence more than anything. Thank goodness for SW - She thought we should go check the nursery window. When we did....

Shortly after 9:03 AM

Birth Grandmother giving us weight 8lbs. 6.5 oz

Footprints

Getting a little oxygen

I want to say we were in front of the nursery window a good 45 minutes just watching and praying, unable to take our eyes off him.

We were able to immediately visit as soon as BM and Noah made it to their room.

BM giving Noah his first feeding

Proud Papa's first hold

Proud Mama's first hold

We were all so happy and blessed Noah was as healthy as could be. I'm not going to lie and say we weren't filled with even more fear. There we were loving this little guy not knowing if we will be able to love him as mom & dad forever.

All part of the journey:

For those who don't know, DH's favorite beer is Anchor Steam out of San Francisco. About two years ago the distributors in Missoula were no longer able to get it. Trust me, I asked every place in town that sells beer!

While giving BM and family time DH and I just drove around, doing our best to kill time. We didn't really want to do anything but we didn't want to do nothing either. Since Billings is a bigger village they definitely have more shopping opportunities. I suggested we stop at World Market to see what their beer selection looked like. Let's just say after we left they couldn't sell Anchor Steam either.

Still feeling like we wanted to do nothing...dinner consisted of scrambled eggs in a hotel room. It is very strange scrambling eggs in a hotel room!

Our trip to Noah

I think it will be easier to post about our journey to Noah in sections...Leg One

Tuesday October 20, 2009, headed east to Billings, MT. It will be difficult to describe how either of us were feeling on our travel day or any other day of this journey. It was almost like we were feeling so much we couldn't feel anything. Fortunately grey weather calms the nerves.

In our typical "road trip" fashion we were right on schedule leaving the house. Our first stop was to drop off our fur-babies just outside of town. Then off to Billings.

Classic road trip snacks...CHEESE

Hummus and Lays Stax

Favorite landmark - Our Lady of the Rockies

We arrived in Billings just around 5PM - right on schedule. We stayed at an Extended StayAmerica in hopes we would cook more meals than eat out.

Our room was utilitarian - no frills. Shortly after unloading our vehicle the fire alarms started sounding, we headed to the front desk to get details. As it turned out they were just testing the system. After sitting in our room and listening to all the fire alarms going off for at least 20 minutes we decided we needed out!! Next stop Wal-Mart! We purchased what we needed for our room and enough breakfast food for several days.

On our way out we got a call from BM - the plan was to have dinner before she was checked into the hospital. We met at Red Robin and had a very delightful dinner with BM and her parents. Thanks for dinner Birth Family!

After dinner we headed to the hospital to visit and get BM checked in. We had a lovely visit with the birth family and our SW. We got to meet BM's sister - she's a hoot!

We parted ways, all anticipating the morning to come. DH and I love the birth family and sincerely enjoyed getting to know them better before the arrival of Noah. We left feeling happy yet terrified and nervous.

Meet Noah

This is going to be short. We're home, exhausted and elated. These shots are from this morning. He's perfect!! Will post more about our journey once we're a little more settled.

Born at 9:03 AM on Wednesday October 21, 2009. 8lbs, 6.5 oz and 20 1/4 inches.

Immediate Future Posts

Dear loyal readers:

Please don't be alarmed if you don't see a post until Sunday or even Monday. I realize there are many of you who are (at least you think you are) as anxiously awaiting the little guys arrival as we are.

We will be in a far away land, I can't guarantee we will have much computer availability/time.

I assure you I will be taking pictures and writing everything down like CRAZY and you will have an update as soon as possible.

To all you prayers...please, please keep everyone in your prayers.

Later Gators!! JC

12 Weeks Off

Today is my last day of work for the next 12 weeks! I won't be back until January 12, 2010.

Looking forward to spending time with the little one, bonding, and loving every minute.

We get to be parents!!!!

Celebrations Galore

Happy Anniversary Mr. & Mrs. Crotzer
I don't know how many years...guessing somewhere around 39

Happy Birthday Mr. Travis Swithenbank - 33

Welcome to the Word Miss Grace Marie (yesterday)
6 lbs (not sure of the oz's) 19 (something) inches. Grace is our 5th niece.

DH is not the best when it comes to relaying details.

Looking forward to having more to celebrate in the coming days.

Tomorrow is the 17th

Doesn't appear the little guy is as punctual as we hoped. We'll just have to love him anyway :)

Popped into Costco for a few things yesterday...some how my bill was double the usual amount and a quarter of that was diapers and wipes! Time's are a-changin'! We're so excited - never thought accouterments to feces could be so exciting. I'm obsessed with smelling all things baby...DH thinks I'm insane not only because of the sniffing but also I get excited for more wipe containers!!!

How many times did I just write exited or a version of? Can you tell how excited we are?

I think we have a gymnast on our hands

The little guy has decided to ready himself for delivery the good old fashioned way. He's in position and BM has started to dilate.

If he hasn't blessed us with his presence by NEXT Tuesday BM will be admitted into the hospital late in the afternoon and the induction proceedings will begin early Wednesday morning. There's always the chance he can flip again! He's keeping us on our toes...this is just the beginning.

We are thrilled everyone is still doing great and thriving. We're excited for things to be progressing.

Despite our excitement we're starting to feel really worn down. We've been anticipating his arrival, based on what we've been told, for weeks. Our life has been in a holding patter thinking today could be the day. I guess we're feeling and going through what any expectant parents go through. It seems no matter the road you take to build a family the journey is similar.

I'm sure there's a silver lining with all this waiting....I haven't figured out what that is yet.

Insert
[ Thank you Deborah!
Hello, my name is Jennifer and I am a control freak. I am willingly giving myself up to this little angel who is controlling my life before I have even seen is cherub face. I have learned, for my child I will change my ways. ]

It's cold

That's about all I have to say. I have no updates of any kind. Maybe it's a time of calm before the storm...pretty soon I will have a flood of topics (one major one) to post about.

I hope all is well with you.

A real J-O-B

We always joke DH has never had a "real" job. He's always had part time jobs through school (9 years of higher education) and he was in the USCG for 4 years.

He doesn't count the USCG as a "real" job not because it's not respectable or "work" but because it's more of a club or counter culture. There's not a typical job interview but a physical test and training and they provided allowances for uniforms, food, housing etc. Plus his stint fell during a time in his life when his life responsibilities were minimal and his spirit was high. He can explain it better.

Anyway - He's nearly 31 and has never had a "real" job! He's very proud of himself about this.

His free ride is quickly coming to an end! The J-O-B hunt has begun. DH has had some very promising conversation with a couple major pharmacy retailers. Who knows if it will lead to an official job offer but it is exciting. Keep your fingers crossed - the end is in sight!!!

First Snow

Okay so it's not a full-on stick to anything kind of snow but there was snow coming out of the sky. We're supposed to get some sort of freak cold front coming in.

I guess you could say winter is here - I don't think it's going to warm up a ton until next spring.

The bun is NOT done!

Little guy is still cooking and has actually decided to do some tumbling. He's not coming out naturally the way he's facing now.

Next appointment is Tuesday - we'll know more if we don't know him by then.

From friends

Nothing beats custom made baby tie-dye! Now if the little guy would just get here already so he can start wearing his collection of totally adorable clothes, oh and so we can show him how much love and adore him!

I have been scrubbing all weekend! Everyone seems to think I'm nesting...that may be true however I think I would be doing this anyway. It's fall cleaning and more so than nesting I think it's an anxiety reliever!

Shampooing carpet is tougher than one would think. My forearms and biceps and surprisingly sore.

Fall? Not in this town!

This past Saturday was an absolutely lovely day. A mythical Indian Summer type afternoon. As I was sitting on my front porch enjoying the day I though it was so cute how the trees out front were starting to turn. Just one lonely red leaf. It was above 80 that day.

Today is Thursday, I'm not even sure it made it into the 50's!!! Seriously?!?! What happened to fall? Lolo Peak and Snow Bowl got snow yesterday!!!

The one good thing about the precipitation is the help it will give in extinguishing fires. This picture is also from Saturday from my porch. The Kootenai fire has flared up an embarrassing amount of times. I did mess with the contrast of the photo to help differentiate the smoke from the sky.

Fire fire go away and never come back some day!